Top Ten Rules for Success
Every human has a “should” list (pending, seldom works) and
“musts” list (on agenda). “Musts” List defines actions and what to do and these
actions define character building, raising the standards.
Ultimately, if you're going to have lasting change in
anything, you're really talking about just raising your standards. I mean, I
always tell people; if you want to know how to change your life, I'll give it
to you in three words, boring as it sounds, "raise your standards." Now, what does that mean, "raise
your standards"? This is a breakthrough thought. Lasting change is
different than a goal. You don't always get your goals, but you always get your
standards. Maybe what'll help you is to think about it this way. I try to
explain standards to people with a different set of words. Think of it as
everybody in life gets their "musts." They don't get their
"shoulds."
Think about it. Most people have a list of "shoulds";
don't they? Don't you have a list of "shoulds," things you should do,
you should follow through on? "I should lose some weight." "I
should work out more." "I should make more calls." "I
should respond more rapidly to my email," whatever. "I should get
into the office earlier." "I should be more confident."
Whatever your "should" list, people love to have
their "should" list be met, but it's like New Year's resolutions. If
it does, it's really exciting. If it doesn't, which is most of the time, it's a
little disappointing, but you kind of know it's not going to happen.
When you decide something is a "must" for you, an absolute
"must," when you cut off any possible ... you say, "I'm
going to find a way, or I'm going to make the way." Human beings, when
they resolve things, when they make a real resolution inside themselves, which
is they raise the standard and they make it a "must," they find the way.
Think about it in your own life. Haven't you had some area
of your life where you raised your standard, and your life has never been the
same? Maybe, at one time in your life, you smoked cigarettes. Or you did
something, and you did it for years. You kept trying to change it, trying to
change it and kept telling yourself, "I should." Then, one day, something
happened. Something just clicked you over. Something took you over that tipping
point, and inside yourself, you said, "No
more." That was a very, very different experience; wasn't it?
Something inside of you shifted. What was a
"should" became a "must," and you've never gone back. Is
there an area like that in your life that you can think of? Again, did you ever
smoke cigarettes? Did you ever eat a certain way and then finally say, "No
more," and you just don't go back? Notice this; it doesn't really take any
willpower, anymore, because somewhere, when we make this click, when we make
something a "must," we attach ourselves to it. It becomes part of our
identity.
Believe Who You Are,
Helps
Many of us have
defined ourselves some 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years ago or many be more than that
ago.
One thing I've learned, in the last, 33 years of work on people from, now, over 100 countries, four million
people, is human beings absolutely
follow through on who they believe they are. If you said to me, "Well,
I'm really going to work hard to stop smoking, but I've been a smoker my whole
life. I am a smoker," I know
your days are numbered. You're going to be back smoking cigarettes, again,
because we all act consistent with who we believe we are.
I tell people the strongest force in the whole human
personality is this need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves. If you define yourself as somebody who is
really conservative, you're not
going to be crazy and act nuts, unless you're really something away from normal.
Then you can say it's the drug, when it's really just you finally getting permission
to be yourself. You are taking drug as
excuse. If you're a really crazy person,
you act crazy, outrageous and playful. You don't act conservative because it's
not who you are. Very often people say, "Well, I can't do that. I'm not that kind of person." I
always say to people, "Really? When did you define yourself?
I mean, really, how many years ago did you come up with what
you could and couldn't do in your life? How many years ago?" Most people, if
they really look at how they're living their life today, it's based on a set of
standards, a set of beliefs that they made choices about 10, 20, 30 or more
years ago. Very often, we made decisions in our youth, or very young, about
what to believe, about what we were capable of, about who we are as a person, and
that becomes the glass ceiling, if you will, that controls us.
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Conditioning and
Training Works
There is a corny (obvious or sentimental and not at all
original) metaphor (an expression, often found in literature, that describes a
person or object by referring to something that is considered to have similar
characteristics to that person or object), but it's true.
I remember, one time, I was with my family at the circus.
There was a person there, and they had this big, giant elephant. You look at
this elephant. They take this little rope, put it around the elephant's neck,
and they drive this stake into the ground. I mean, you look at this, and you
know that elephant could rip down the entire tent with almost no effort. Yet,
the elephant doesn't struggle, doesn't try. Why? Because the elephant is
conditioned.
They could take that elephant and condition the elephant
when it's a baby elephant. That's how they train them. When it's a little baby elephant
and it doesn't have the power, yet, they put a big rope around it, and they
drive this huge stake in the ground. The elephant fights and fights and fights.
One day, finally, that elephant decides, "I'm not capable of pulling this out."
Once that becomes the definition of an
identity of anyone - an elephant, in this case - they don't even try, anymore. "It's just who I am. That's how
it is. That's just the way it is in my life."
I'd like to ask you to take a look at any place you've got a
limitation and ask yourself, "When did I decide to accept that
limitation?" You may not even see it as a limitation. You might see it as,
just, "That's who I am."
Human sets Limitation
on the Basis of Fear and Greed
So often, in our lives, we've adapted to be a certain way, so that we don't fail or so that people will like us or respect us.
It's not necessarily who we are.
Joy comes when you're
spontaneous. It's really hard to be truly happy when you're not being yourself,
and most of us have no clue who we are. A big part of my work - if you've ever
been to event, you know - is to get people to do things spontaneously, without
thinking, because that's when the real you shows up. That's when the energy
comes alive. When you do that, when you start to connect your true nature,
suddenly, there's energy available for you to set a higher standard for what you
want in your life. That's what this is really all about.
‘Shoulds’ and ‘Musts’
Set ‘Standards of Life’
When I talk about "standards" or I talk about "shoulds"
versus "musts," think about your own life. I know there have been
areas in your life where, at some point in time, you just shifted. You raised
the standard, and your life changed because whatever people have their identity
attached to, they live.
We live who we believe we are. That's just how it works.
Body and Exercise
I'll give you an example. Look at your physical body. Your
physical body, today, is an absolute reflection of only one thing. Not your
goals, not your desires, but your standards, the identity you have for
yourself. If your standard is you're an athlete, then there's a certain amount
of strength, a muscle tone, an energy that's available in your body, on a
regular basis, because that's who you are. You do whatever is necessary to
maintain that identity.
Again, the strongest force in the human personality is this
need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves because if you don't know who
you are, you wouldn't know how to act.
Once you lock in on that identity, your brain finds a way to
keep you there. If you say, "Man, I'm overweight. I've always been
overweight.
I'm big-boned" and that's the story you've got, then
you're going to always find a way to get back there. That's your settling
point. That's your identity. That's where things lock in.
If you see somebody who's in really great shape, you ask
them, "Do you work out?" You know the answer, "Yes."
"How often?" They'll tell you, "Three times," "Four
times," "Five times a week," whatever. In a seminar, I'll ask
people, "Who, here, works out at least five days a week? Stand up."
You look around that room, and you know that they work out five times a week
because you can see their body. You don't just get a result without some kind
of action, without some form of ritual; "ritual," meaning actions you
do consistently.
Day is Same 24 Hour,
Must List Makes the Difference
Now, do you believe those people that are out there, working
out five days a week, do they have more time than you do or I have or anybody
else? Of course not. Is their life less busy? Of course not. It's just a
"must" for them. They must work out that way. They've made that turn,
and their life changed. I'm not saying you have to work out five days a week.
I'm just saying, whatever you really want, "wants" don't get met
consistently; "standards" do. Whatever you identify, "This is
who I am."
It's not so much about changing your identity, as it is
expanding it; deciding that, instead of your goal is to lose 10 pounds, which
is not compelling, what if your vision was to "get back to my fighting
weight"? "This year,"
"This month," "This next 90 days, I'm going to
transform my body. I'm going to take on a new challenge. I'm going to find some
technique or strategy. There's a million of them – that can reframe
myself." Or, "I want to feel younger, stronger, more vibrant than
ever before. Here are my reasons. I want the energy to really make my life work
because it's tough out there, and I want to be stronger than I've ever been before.
I want to go in front of the mirror, and if I'm naked, not want to laugh. I
want to look there and take a good look, and go, 'Yeah. I'm proud of whatever I
see there.'" Whatever it takes. Something is going to make you laugh,
smile. Something is going to tease yourself, but something is going to move you
to another level. If you identify yourself in a new way, you own that every day
and that becomes the standard of how you live, you'll find a way to make that
standard real.
Situation is an
Opportunity of Real Expression
Money is the same way. Think about it. It doesn't matter
what's happening "in the marketplace." People that make money find a
way to make money, no matter what; don't they? I mean, most people's standard
is to pay their bills, so that's what most people find a way to do. Even when
economic times get tough, most people, if that's their absolute standard, they
find a way. Some people's standard is to pay their bills most of the time, and
so, most of the time, they do. Some people's standard is not just to pay their
bills, but to take care of their family and maybe even some of their friends. They
find a way. In fact, some people may be in a family where, if they don't have
enough money ... They barely have money to pay their bills. They worked their
guts out, and then somebody - their mother, their father or somebody else,
their sister - gets ill. There's not enough money to take care of it. Nobody
else has money in the family. They don't, either, but they find a way to get
that money and take care of their mother or father, don't they, and pay their
bills. They never could do it before. Why? The situation made them raise their
own standard. Not everybody does that. Somebody else in the family might have money
and still not take care of their mother.
It all comes down to
the inner game, my friends.
Dynamics of Shift in
Life
Changing your life is a change in the inner game. The
outside world, you can't control, but you have absolute control over this one, if
you learn the dynamics of what shapes you.
Identity is one
of those simple, clear, fundamental basics that if you start to shift it,
everything else will shift in your life, as well.
Somebody will, by the way, have to have more than enough
money to do what they want, when they want, where they want, with whomever they
want, contribute the way they want. If that's their "must," they find
a way. I know that sounds overly simplistic, but it's true.
Somebody once said you could take all the money in the world
out of the hands of everybody, out of all the wealthy people in the world who are
really successful, give it to other people. It wouldn't take too long; those
people would have it back in their hands. It's not because they're
manipulative. It's because they have standard. Some are manipulative. Don't get
me wrong, but they have a standard of what they're going to find a way to make happen.
I'm just simply saying to you, take those three magic words and live them. Raise your standards.
Michael Gerber, the guy that wrote The E-Myth, talks about
why so many businesses, young businesses fail. One of the things he says is
most people are not really entrepreneurs, but they think that's what they
should be. They think that's the most attractive thing, that's the best answer.
What I say to you is you've got to separate the vehicle from the outcome. What is it that's going to
truly fulfill you? What is it that's going to give you that extraordinary life?
What's going to make things magnificent, on your terms, not
somebody else's terms, not your father, your mother, your background?
What is that, really? Separate the vehicle. There are many
ways to get to that vehicle, but I'm saying, sometimes you have to reevaluate
what's going to really make you fulfilled. What is your gift? Are you an
artist? Are you the talent that can produce something no one else produces as a
skill, a product, a service or some impact?
Are you incredibly good at management; you really know how
to manage or lead people? Are you an extraordinary entrepreneur that can take
that gigantic gut-load of risk, create the vision, attract the talent that you
need, the managers and leaders?
You may have all three abilities, but which one really
fulfills you the most, is going to be the critical question. We tend to want to
do them all, especially in a room like this, because you're all overachievers;
right? Me, too. You say, "Well, I can do all these." Yes, you can,
but what will it do to your quality of life? See, again, the secret is going to
be this. What is an extraordinary life, on your terms, today?
Things; getting things is not going to make you happy.
That's good news in a tough economy.
It's a good reminder. It doesn't matter what you get. It
doesn't matter whether it be money or opportunity. All those things might
excite you for the moment. Even a relationship, as magnificent as it may be,
might exciting for a while, but if you don't keep growing, that relationship
isn't going to stay exciting.
The secret to real happiness is progress.
Progress equals happiness, and if we can make progress on a
regular basis, we feel alive.
That's why, at the beginning of the year, we get this thing
like, "Okay. I could have this fresh start. I could really do what my soul
desires. I could expand. I could grow. I could improve. I could change. Or
maybe, better than change, I could progress."
See, think about that. Progress has an aliveness to it;
doesn't it? You don't have to work at changing. People say all the time, now, "Well,
I'm working on changing." Don't worry about it. You don't have to work on
changing.
Change is automatic. Your body is going to change, whether
you want it or not, as the years go by. No matter how hard you work, there are
going to be some changes going on there.
The economy is going to change, no matter what you want it
to do. The weather is going to change. Relationships are going to change.
Everything in life is always changing. We don't have to work
on change. Change is automatic, but progress is not. If you want to make real progress,
then you really have to look at your life in a different way. You have to say,
"I have to take control of this process and not just hope it's going to
work out," like people do who make a resolution.
Treat people, at the end of the relationship, like it's the
beginning, and there won't be an end. That's not just your intimate
relationship.
What if your customers... What if you fell in love with your
customers, with your clients more than your product, more than your company?
If your entire life is about meeting their needs, if you
would do what for your customers or clients, you would do what? If you loved your
customers and clients; you'd do anything, guess what? They're going to love
you.
Most people love their customers and clients as long as they
buy from them, do what they want, respond to them. If they don't, they go,
"That's the end." You want clients for life, not just customers, fall
in love with them. It's a different focus; isn't it? It's a different meaning,
and that creates a different life because you make decisions differently from
that place.
What does it take to create world-class marketing? What is
the unique selling proposition? What is what we call "value-added
marketing," VAM?
Today, most people are sick and tired of advertising because
where is it? Everywhere.
In fact, I have a question for you. How many of you, in this
room, do not even see banner ads, anymore? Literally, it's there, but you don't
perceive it, like your brain literally washes it out. Raise your hand if that's
true.
Keep your hands nice and high, and look around the room
right now. You'll see 98% of the people wash it out, so don't buy them, unless you're
going to create something really unique.
It's a total waste of your money and your time, in the world
we're in today. Today, what creates marketing is when you don't just market,
but you add value to people.
You do something. You teach them. You give them an insight.
You give something valuable that costs them nothing, and then they look to you
as an expert. They look to you as a person that adds value. They want you to
supply them more information, more experience, more products and more services.
If you lend me this whole business about meeting your needs,
you can run a successful business, but it'll be a job because you'll never be able
to sell it. If it's just meeting your needs, it's not a system. It demands your
attention, your connection. It's giving what you want. Ultimately, it's not
going to give somebody else what they want, so you can't sell it.
If you can't sell your business, if you don't have an exit
strategy, you have a job. I don't care how successful the business is. That doesn't
mean you have to sell the business, but one of the most important decisions you
make in business is, ultimately, "If I was going to sell this, if I chose
to, I have to know who would I sell this to, so that I have long-term value,
not just an income along the way. I have this critical mass here. I have a
multiple of my business."
Most people don't have a clear exit strategy. They think,
"I'll come up with that someday."
You have to start with that in the mind. That has to be part
of your focus, if you're going to be successful in your business.
I can remember the gentleman who built CAA in Hollywood. It
was the largest, most successful agency; right? Michael Ovitz, remember that name?
He put together Nike, Coca-Cola and these billion-dollar deals. Eventually,
Michael Ovitz went to go sell that business. He had never thought through an
exit strategy, and he got almost nothing for it because the laws prevented him
from selling it to a studio.
He had to sell it to some of his employees for pennies on
its real value. Mike found a way to make money, later on, in another place, off
of Disney, but the bottom line is the guy didn't have an exit strategy. It was
brilliant. He made lots of money. In the end, didn't get the value.
Whenever people fail to achieve their goals, 99.9% of the
time, you ask them why and they'll tell you it's because of a lack of
resources. That's what all these things are. "I didn't have the
support," right? "I didn't have the money." "We didn't have
the time." "We didn't have this." "We didn't have
that." There is a resource that people believe is missing, and that
resource belief structure then keeps people from every being able to really
lead because what leaders do is they find a way to maximize whatever resources
they have, as little as they may be. They don't believe in limited resources.
I'll give you an example. Let's take a business example, to
start with. In 1974, a guy named Sam Walton had built his little company up. He
came up with an idea. He started with $20,000 in, I think, 1962, if I remember
right. By 1974, within 12 years, he had 78 stores, and you know how he did it?
In the middle of the night, he'd drive across the border, and he'd go and study
other people's stores. He'd buy everything the cheapest he could, in the middle
of the night. He'd go to other people's stores.
Whatever was working, he figured out. Success leaves clues.
He came back and did it in his store. Whatever was working in any store, in any
competitor, anywhere he could do it, he did it. He figured out how to maximize the
little resources he had, his 20,000; built 78 stores.
If you read any of the people following him - the company
had gone public in that year - they're all saying, "This is it. He's
maximized his resources." He only had so much money.
There are only so many cities that are going to appeal to
this "discounting" mentality; right? This is it. This is all he can
do, and the word on Wall Street was "sell." Now, what's interesting
is, at that time, you look at Sears and Kmart, and they were gargantuan
companies, weren't they; 20, 30, 40, 50 times, 100 times his size or more, probably?
At that time, they were the leaders, and they knew what was going to happen.
Did things change; yes or no? Did he suddenly
get mass amounts of capital? No.
Here's what they didn't understand? Sam Walton, now, or the
Walton organization, Walmart, is the most successful retailing operation on
Earth. When you talk about Bill Gates being the richest man in the world,
that's only true because Sam's fortune is divided amongst a bunch of different
family members. You put them together, they dwarf Bill Gates.
Sam Walton did this. How did he do it? What people
underestimated is that this guy could go to 4,400 stores, do 250 billion. Where
is Kmart today? They've been shrinking. All of them have been shrinking, and he
is the dominant force on Earth.
Here's the thing he understood; resources are interesting,
but the ultimate resources are the feelings of emotion that make you resourceful.
Think of it this way; resourcefulness is the ultimate resource. What do I mean?
What are the emotions that make all this possible?
What's the fuel that takes an idea from being in your head,
where you, intellectually, know what to do?
How many have had an idea, for example, it was a great idea;
you're excited about it, and then you didn't do anything? Then, one day, there
you saw it, on the shelf. You saw it somewhere. Someone stole your idea. How many
have had this happen? Say "Aye"? [audience says "aye"] The
only difference between you and that person was not that they had more resources.
They were more resourceful.
Success and failure are not giant events. They don't just
show up. You don't just suddenly became successful or suddenly have this
cataclysmic (tragic) event that makes you fail. It may look that way, but
failure comes from all the little things. It's failure to make the call. It's failure
to check the books. It's failure to say "I'm sorry." It's failure to
push yourself to do things, physically, that you don't want to do. All those
little failures, day after day, come together until, one day, some cataclysmic event
happens, and you blame that. That event happened because you missed all the
little stuff. Do you agree with me?
Success, by the way, is not some overnight event. It's all
these little things. Success is having a vision. Success is making it
compelling. Success is really seeing it and feeling it, every day, with strong
enough reasons. Success is feeling the sense that "I'm here to grow, and
I'm here to give something to the world, more than just myself." All the
little stuff, that's where success comes from. In business, it comes from
delivering more than anybody could imagine. All those little things add up, and
people go, "Wow. That's who I want to do business with." It's true in
any area of your life.
Leverage is
critical. You know how I get so much done? Because I don't just get it done. I
know the outcome. I know the purpose, and I look for leverage. Leverage is
different than delegation. What's the problem with delegation?
Delegation is you
have all that needs to be done, so you give it to someone else. You tell them
what needs to be done, and when they don't do it, you're pissed off.
Leverage says, "I can move the biggest boulder in the
world, with a little bit of effort. I have something I can do it with, but I'm still
part of it." Leverage is, if I'm going to leverage something here with
Tom, I'm going to make sure Tom understands the what? The outcome. I want to
make sure Tom understands the...? The purpose, the why and the action. I might
say to Tom, "If you can get this done without this action or better
action, go for it, baby, and I want to talk to you on this date. We have to
promise that we're going to check in before it's needed, so there are no
surprises. If you're having problems, Tom, come back to me because we're
partners on this." That, I call "leverage."
You know what I do when I have no time? There is time. I
just have to leverage it. You know what I'm saying? You say, "I have no
one to leverage it, too." Shane, over here, right? I have all the stuff he
wants to do; can't leverage it. Shane's answer was hire somebody.
Then he thinks about what it's going to take, and goes,
"$125,000, I can't do that now."
He's getting caught up in one way to get the outcome.
Leverage. He goes through his list, and goes, "What if I go someone to do
20% of this stuff? I could spend 20 grand to get that much freedom. I could pay
for it times 10." Hmm.
If I'm really productive, my productivity should enhance the
world. Not only in my clients and customers; but it should provide jobs for
other people. If there's anything you hate to do, it's because you're either
ineffective at it or you don't think it's very important, but it is urgent. You
need to hire somebody for those things, and ideally, somebody who loves that
job. You're never going to grow when your time is eaten up for activities that
aren't that important. Activity without high levels of purpose is the drain of
your fortune.
Do it now. If you can't get it all now, do a part of it now.
Leverage is power. Leverage is ultimate power.
Here's what I've created for me life, and anyone I know has
succeeded. I'm a 17-year-old kid from Mezuzah, California, with no real education,
other than self-education; with no background; with parents that did their best,
all of them; with no money. I did one thing. I love people, and I had an
enormous banana [sp? 0:24:10.8] made upon myself. I sculpted (shaped, carved) my
mind and my emotions to get me to do whatever it would take to achieve and to
contribute, but to do that, I did it by using my body and changing my focus. I
did it by putting myself in a peak physiology and using what I called
"incantations (chants, prayers, charms)." Can you train yourself to
believe something; yes or no? [audience says "yes"] Absolutely.
How many of you ever made the fatal mistake of going to
Disneyland or Disney World, and while you're there, made the fatal mistake of
going to a ride called It's a Small World After All? [laughter] What happens
for about a week after you're out of that damn place?
You're still singing this thing in your head, in 24
languages; right? Well, let me tell you something. How many of you have things,
when you want to go achieve them, and this part of your voice goes, "It's
not going to happen" or "Forget it"? How many have a voice that
sometimes interrupts that good pattern?
Say "Aye." [audience says "aye"] What
you want to do is train a new one.
Starting when I was 17, I started doing incantations, not
affirmations. Affirmation, you go, "I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy."
What's the problem?
You haven't changed your what? Your what? Physiology. If you
don't change your physiology, you won't get anything. An incantation is not
only you speak it, but you embody what you're saying with all the intensity you
can.
You do it with another repetitions that it sticks in your
head. Like It's a Small World Now, the conversation in your head is always the
same, and it gives you want you want.
Use your body and your voice.
Seventeen years ago, I started doing things. I was working
for Jim Rohn, the speaker, and I was 17 years old. I had long hair; minestrone soup
acne on my face. I was trying to call on Bear Stearns-type of people and
convince them why they should go to this man's seminar and be more successful.
I was driving a 1968 Volkswagen that I had earned at $40 a week, as a janitor.
The only way I did it was park far from the building and then go in. I loved people,
and I believed. When I put myself in state, I was able to influence people that
were far more successful than I was at the time.
I will do something that I still do backstage and I've done
for 23 years because I don't hope I'm going to be in good state. I demand it,
so I do an incantation. Using my whole body, I'd say, "I no command my
subconscious mind to direct me in helping as many people as possible today, to
better their lives, by giving me the strength, the emotion, the persuasion (influence),
the humor, the brevity (briefness, conciseness), whatever it takes to show
these people and get these people to change their lives now." I would that,
literally, driving in my Volkswagen to a meeting, in LA, on a freeway for 40
minutes.
People would look. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, and
they're going, "I know he's a serial killer. I know he is."
By the time I entered that room... When two people meet, if
there is rapport (relationship), the person who is most certain will always
influence the other person, and I was totally certain.
They were trying to get revved up (to increase in strength
or accelerate sharply) to certainty.
Do you agree with this; yes or no? [audience says
"Yes"]
I'd do another one because I was poor. I had to change my
mindset. I kept doing things, but I never got beyond it. I'd say, "God's wealth
is circulating in my life. His wealth flows to me, in avalanches (sudden large
amount) of abundance. All my needs, desires and goals are met instantaneously by
infinite intelligence. For I am one with God, and God is everything." I
would imagine the abundance in my life, and I would feel so grateful. A year
later, I went from making $38,000 a year to making a million dollars a year, in
one year.
"A business will always consume whatever's
available."
He said the same thing when I had an infomercial.
He said, "Take that money and put it aside."
Well it was one of the best pieces of advice
I'd ever gotten in my entire life because
I put it aside and there were times when that
money was needed. But, I was like putting
it in a chapel, it was like putting it where
it was sacred money and it was not going to
be touched. If someone came along and said,
"You have no money for your business, but
guess what Obama just raised the taxes 20%
more for your business." You'd scream, you'd
yell, you'd be upset and you'd pay it. So,
why not put your family first? Why not have
a portion of what you own, or what you earn,
I should say, for yours to keep. It doesn't
go to Kate Spade, it doesn't go to Wall Street,
it goes to your family. The way you do that
is you tax yourself, it's a wealth tax. You
go, "That's my freedom fund." It comes off
the top. The secret is automate it so you
don't see it, that's really the most important
thing.
Very often you're getting what you're asking
for you're just not aware of how general you're
asking. Clarity is power. The more clear you
are about exactly what it is you want, the
more your brain knows how to get there. Your
brain is a servomechanism. It's like a bomb.
Those bombs, those missiles, they have a servomechanism,
so if the target moves, it knows what the
target is and it follows it. Your brain, when
you condition it, knows exactly what to go
for and it will find a way to get there.
Did you ever buy a certain outfit or a certain
car and suddenly see that car or outfit everywhere?
How many of you have had that experience?
Say, "I". How come that car or outfit is
everywhere?
It always was everywhere, but now you notice
it and the reason is because there's a part
of your brain called the reticular activating
system, the RAS. That part of your brain determines
what you notice and what you don't notice.
Your brain spends most of its time trying
to make sure you don't notice because you'll
go crazy if you notice everything.
But, when you decide what's most important
to you, your brain goes after it. Everyone
I know who's successful, builds what I call
an RPM plan. RPM is built on the metaphor
that the way to get from where you are to
where you want to go the fastest is you've
got to build power, like in a car, RPMs. The
"R" stands for, they know the result in the
rafter, they know what they want precisely.
If you don't know exactly what you want or
if you let yourself get beyond that into something
general, you're not going to achieve it. Clarity
is power. You've got to know the specific
result you're after. What do you want. If
you can't answer that question right now in
personal life, in your body, in your relationships,
in your finances, in your spirituality, then
you're not going to be as fulfilled as you
want to be.
Here's my assignment for you, if you want
one. If you want to go from conversation to
some action, here's a simple thing to do.
What's an area in your life right now that
you really want to improve? What's an area
that's important to improve? If you're body's
great, how about your career? If your career's
great, how about your relationships? Intimate
ones especially. Or, your kids. Or, your relationship
with your creator, your spiritual side of
your life. Or, is it your finances. Figure
an area that really matters, decide on that
area.
Number One: Write down what your life is like
in that area right now as specifically as
possible. So, you might say, "Well I'm 13.5
pounds' overweight. You know, whatever the
weight is, whatever the situation is. Or,
"My body fat's like this" or "I wake up
exhausted
in the morning." And you write the truth of
where you are right now, so you're real clear.
Or, I'm not in a relationship. I say I want
a relationship, but I'm not in one. I don't
seem to find them; all the good ones seem
to be gone is my belief. I really do want
one, but I don't have it. Whatever your definition
is, "I'm in a relationship and God I wish
I wasn't in a relationship. I'm planning my
escape." Wherever you are. Or, "I have a wonderful
relationship, we love each other, but there
just isn't enough passion." Just write the
truth of where you are. The area you want
to change, but write how it is.
The Second Step is, and this is where you've
got to be really honest with yourself, what
are the rituals that have put there? Because,
whatever results you're getting, even if you
don't like the results, there are some rituals
that are putting you in that place. There
are some rituals of what you eat or don't
eat, how you move or don't move, how you sleep
or don't sleep. There are some rituals in
the lack of variety or spice or energy or
focus in an area. There's something you're
doing and it's usually not one thing, it's
a bunch of little things that you kind of
do consistently whenever you think about getting
in a relationship, whenever you think about
working out, whenever you think about money,
you get yourself into a state of overwhelm.
You start thinking about all of the things
you can't control. Just write down all of
the rituals you have.
Here's the Third Step: What do you want? What's
your vision? Be really specific. I want to
be my fighting weight; I want to be the strongest
I've ever felt. I want to be. . .I'm going
to turn. . .whatever it is, be specific.
Last step Number Four: What are the rituals
that will get you there? What would you need
to do differently each morning if you were
going be that kind of energy, that kind of
strength? How often would you have to work
out? What days would you work out? What time?
A ritual is something you do consistently,
usually at a specific time so it becomes automatic.
Let me tell you something, will power doesn't
last. But rituals can last a lifetime. I bet
you have some rituals you have in your life
that you've been doing for years, even though
some of them don't serve you. I'm just saying,
wake yourself up. If you want a new year and
a new life, you don't have to start on January
first, start today. Start with this little
video. Just begin to see what happens and
see how easy it is to just to a few little
rituals. Don't do them all, just do two or
three new things. You know what happens? You'll
get momentum, because once you discipline
yourself in one area of your life, you feel
yourself doing it in other areas as well.
I always say something that my original teacher
taught me, I always remind people; there's
always two pains in life, there's the pain
of discipline or there's the pain of regret.
Discipline weighs ounces, as my friend Jim
Rohn taught me, regret weighs tons. You don't
want to have regret. So, right now, what do
you want to change, what's it really like,
what are the rituals that got you there? That
will take a little homework. If you're not
sure, ask the people around you, they'll tell
you what your rituals are. What do I really
want in depth, what are the rituals that will
get me there and then get yourself to start
a few of those actions and lock them in place.
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